I have found myself, having such a heavy heart.
Sadness and fear overcome
especially when it comes to my mini.
I have a terrible sense of being lost.
As we become parents...
no matter what age, young, middle or old.
we always want to protect them.
Want nothing more than to have her in my care all the time.
Unfortunately, we are a two income family, and that can't change.
Now, as she gets older & bigger
my power is smaller.I feel defeated.
The only way i can describe it; is
my heart..
my heart is literally outside of me.
it is prancing and dancing around in this tiny little form.
I cant protect it all the time, and that scares me
When she falls I cant always be there to tell her its okay.
when someone is mean I cant shove them out of the way.
cruelty exist in this world...
far to much, and I can't protect her from all of it.
Of course I want to feel all of her
joys and happiness.
Honestly though, more than anything
I want to
take away all her doubts
her fears, pain and troubles.
but, I cant.
I know I need to teach her to have a full heart.
love unconditionally, and to cherish everything.
put God, and family above all else.
To always remember her roots.
That is the simple part.
The hard part to teach her is
not everyone has a full heart,
there is a lot of evil out there.
She is just far to young to have
to figure that out..
Teaching her that even people who
are nice, can also be the evil.
Her eyes are so innocent, yet,
have seen more than I can imagine.
And, I just am not ready for that...
